Stop the presses. Stop the presses. I got a headache. My god it’s getting depressing. I gotta hand it to bandits working at CNN. I’m seeing them retweeting a piece that they read on Reddit and calling that shit a headline. That shit is stepped on. Death is sexy. The rest gets slept on. So check your sources and sort out the sordid horseshit of stories of no importance before you go and absorb ‘em and roll 'em out on the floor to an orgy of uninformative and poorly written, hashtagging, ad-driven drivel. What you expect from a coven of journalists taking chump bait like Donald Trump quotes and eating off it like rib eye? I’ve had enough, and I hope that you have the guts to shut it off when nothing is adding up. It’s bad enough these suckers are still employed but, face it, you’re basically doing they’re work for ‘em. Print the legend. Print the legend. Print the legend. Drink 'til you wet brain. Print the legend. Print the legend. Lose the message. News at eleven. Raise a glass. Raise a bottle or two. Try to act like nothin’s bothering you even though the news is swallowing you. Well that’s okay, because you swallow it too. I read the news today, oh boy - "Two Kids Shot Dead by the Grocery Store," and we’re supposed to go to work instead of mourning it 'cause this shit happens every morning and it’s normal to us, and the point of it is lost on us so we get on the horse and grab a coffee cause all of that coffin talk is unhealthy. It isn’t helping, so maybe you go out and see a movie and try to ignore the news on loop at least until your mood improves, or else cue the breaking footage, throw your fucking hands up, watch a single mother getting beaten while in handcuffs, and from where I’m standing the chance of acquittal’s looking handsome for another monster of an officer regardless that they caught it all on camera while you’re yelling “ain’t no one gon’ take away my handguns!” It’s eating through this country like a cancer. So, if you need a quote, you know I got an answer. Print the legend. Print the legend. Print the legend. Drink 'til you wet brain. Print the legend. Print the legend. Lose the message. News at eleven. Raise a glass. Raise a bottle or two. Try to act like nothin’s bothering you even though the news is swallowing you. Well that’s okay, because you swallow it too.

There are no lyrics at all. This is an instrumental, silly.